Saturday, July 2, 2011

A Struggle

I've not been blogging because, well, I've just felt overburdened with life.
Ever get like that? I have discovered over the last year, that most of the time when I'm feeling this way, its around my "time of the month", in which case I should just give myself a break - right?! Well its that time and I guess right now I just need to talk it out.

About a week ago I saw a movie called 17 miracles that was first off very sad, heart breaking. But also inspiring, touching, and overall humbling. My mom and I cried all through it (a few days later I took my husband to see it, and well I cried all through it a second time, my husband is a bit tougher). You can read about it here.

When we left the theater, my mom said "Boy, the hardest thing I have to think about is when I'll get a diet coke". Which is wholly untrue. My mom is struggling with some hard things. In fact she had a heart attack this week (she's alright after 4 days in the hospital). However, it made her take a hard look at her life. She has decided she wants to fight to take back her life. She has let everything else take over. She gives and gives and gives, and then does not take care of herself. From now on, I'll be beside her making sure she does.

One of the things that struck me most about the movie was at the end, they had synopsises of the characters lives. Several of the young girls after struggling to make it across the plains in such hard elements, later went on to have 13 children! To me, that is a testament of the will and heart that is possible in this life. It made me look at my life and my struggles, and what I'm dealing with now, is nothing in comparison to what I have dealt with earlier on in my life; or what many other people I know are dealing with.

I'm very blessed, this I know, to have come this far. I'm blessed daily. I have beautiful children and a loving husband. I have a faith in God and in my Savior Jesus Christ. I have supportive friends and family. And yet there are struggles. A big burden I have come to realize trouble with is time management. There is so much I should be doing, could be doing. I should be serving more, loving more, spending more quality time with family. I should have a tidy house that makes me feel accomplished. And yet, it is difficult to make myself do anything some days. And I wonder what that says about me? Am I weak in spirit? Why are some things so hard? Am I depressed? I do have 3 small children, but not 13! I hope that they won't remember me as a complainer, or someone who doesn't want to do things. Right now I see myself being to hard on myself but maybe this will all sound familiar to someone out there. Someone who can give me some advice. I welcome it.

There is a book called "If life were easy, than it wouldn't be hard... and other truths", it's by Sheri Dew. I've started to read it, because although I look at my life and consider it easy compared to my earlier years, and to other peoples struggles, I still struggle some days. I'm hoping to find some answers. I know that when I go to the scriptures I am certain to find advice, and I am trying to do that more often as well.

For now, just to voice this out loud is a help. Now its out of my head and laid on the table. Maybe that's all I need once in awhile. That and a bowl of ice cream! Denali Mint Chocolate Cup sounds good right now ;)


  1. Hi Emelie - I enjoy your blog a lot, but it sounds like maybe it is time to put blogging away for a season? Your children, husband and home are the most precious gifts you have and need your absolute best. Pouring yourself into them is hard work! Make sure you are taking care of yourself - physically and spiritually. Because as you know...when your empty there's nothing else to give. When things get balanced you will feel yourself a lot better prepared to handle all the struggles we must deal with daily. Please forgive me if you think any of my suggestions are out of line...this is just what I have learned myself over 21 years of marriage. Pray for guidance. XO - Nicole S

  2. Nicole gives good advice. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.

    You have hit on an important point for everyone - time management is the key. Find the little lost times during the day and use them and you will be surprised what you can accomplish. I have paid bills while watching basketball practice, read scriptures while waiting for the final school bell to ring, hit the grocery store during a short piano lesson, etc... I am sure you do such things too, but I have really found more time when I try to get a little bit done in the "in between times."

    Rest and play are also valuable and worthy of your time. When you are resting, be sure to really rest. Let go of concerns, allow yourself to be at peace and really relax.

    Let go of the "shoulds" and celebrate what you do and who you are. You are a great mom and wife and daughter. Do what you can and then forgive yourself for not doing all you think you should. You do not need to run faster than you have strength. You are loved just for who you are.

    Love you!

  3. Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog from some other blogs about thrifty living and such. I just want to say how much I enjoy the honesty and humanity in your blog posts. You seem like a very genuinely wonderful person, and I appreciate you sharing your ideas and advice. I know this post is from July, and I do hope things have settled down for you. Looks like you got some great advice from the ladies above. I used to blog and am thinking about taking it up again because you never know when something you write will be found in the middle of the night by someone who needs to read it. I am a new fan!! God bless! -- Chris